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People's Republic of China gets bigger, 20%

2010-05-11 07:34:07

While China's property prices are rising at record pace, within the past 20 years Chinese people have managed to increase the size of their country by 20%. The obvious question here is....HOW?

The sad reality over the past decades has been that Chinese people have procreated a lot faster than they have died. It's been said that you can have Chinese people walk into water in seven columns and their population would still keep rising. Truth be told - the 7 columns wasn't taken from the thin air - they actually have been walking into the water for the past 30 years, all at their government's expense and force.

While Dubai is spending billions of dollars to create artificial land, and going bankrupt soon, China has done so without any major expense, well, just their people, and because of the billions of people in the water now, they have conquered a lot of water and turned it into human-made (literally) land mass. The size of the new land mass is approximately 20% of their territory compared to 30 years back when they started the human experiment.

The truth was revealed to us under the vote of confidence by the first Chinese person who managed to escape from the third column of the 7-column to-be land mass.

Unfortunately, we agreed to offer him anonymity, thus the name of the brave person couldn't be revealed...well, at the same time it's China and the chance of actually figuring out who person is, is way too slim to not reveal it.

The name of our source is Wen Chen (the third, from Fuijan area where his family still resides). I guess it's always better to reveal your sources before the authorities come knocking on our door with guns in their hands. Sorry, Wen Chen, our first priority is covering our own arses, then there's the survival of our company and then there's the truth. And then you. And don't even try to give me the crap that we promised! Blaa, blaa, blaa...

Chinese government is still working on the plans whether to continue the 7-column voluntary 24/7/365 mass suicide or to start building factories on it in order to be able to sell more goods to the United States. Official press release is expected within the next couple of years.

Stay tuned!

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The Daily Bonk

The Daily Bonk is a satire news site, or a fake news source, or just a provider of alternative news, considering the latter is becoming more and more popular term these days thanks to that special someone.

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