Show Menu

Trump: IQ means ... and mine is 1300

2017-02-22 04:55:00

President Trump held a press conference on Monday at 9.59, to reassure the people of the United States, and the rest of the world, that the future of the universe is in safe hands.

Trump said during the press conference that "You know, I saw a great, truly terrific headline in Daily Mail, saying 'People with high IQs really DO see the world differently'. And you know, you just have to admit that I have a really, very good IQ. And when you look at my IQ, you know that my opinion is the best because I see the world as nobody else does. And my vision is really clear. The best. Nobody has as good vision as I do, you can ask my wife. You know, all the other people claim they know things, they see things, but they are bad, they are really really bad. I can do much better than any of them. And you know that. If you listen to the media, the lying, dishonest media, you know that I am right."

Journalists all looked at each other as if they were thinking WTF? And truth be told, it wasn't just 'as if.' One of the journalists, Harry Twohooter, finally managed to pull himself together again, and asked Trump - "So, sir, sir president, if your IQ is the best ever, it needs to be above the IQ of William James Sidis, who according to some information, had the highest recorded IQ in history, IQ of 250 - 300. So, sir, sir president, what is your IQ?"

Without much thought, Trump shouts out loud - "Thirteen Hundred!"

Some of the people in the crowd said "WOW" while most of them are again like, "WUT?" After around a minute of silence, amazement, and wtfs, depending on whom you ask, a small blond lady from the back row raised her arm and very silently asked, "Mister president, do you know what IQ stands for?" Trump doesn't really hear her, so he makes a joke about some handicapped person who doesnt have the strength to speak out loud enough and asks the journalist, if she's handicapped or something. "Speak up or I'll grab you by the ..." but before he manages to finish, the small blond lady from Cosmopolitan magazine asks again, now a lot louder, "Mister President, Do You Know What IQ Stands For?"

"You need to speak up my friend, I hope you don't mind me calling you my friend, and I know you are my friend, I have a lot of friends. Really good friends. You can ask anybody. I'm the best friend anyone could ever have," Trump answers.

"Mister President, what about the meaning of IQ?"

"IQ is a very good thing. Without IQ, or with bad IQ, very bad things can happen, and they do. Ask anyone and they will tell you that you can't live, you can't succeed without perfect IQ, and you know I know because my IQ is 1300. And you can't have the IQ lower than that or you don't know where you are going. And I have seen that many people really can't see where they are going, especially rapists, but also many other Mexican people. The low IQ is destroying America, and we need to do something about it. This is bad, really, really bad. If everyone's IQ would be as good as mine, the world would be a lot better place. Mark my words."

Harry Twohooter, the journalist from Daily Planet, decides that it's time to help the gal out, and asks Trump again, "Sir, Sir president, but the meaning of IQ?"

"You need to watch more TV, a really good TV, not one of those lousy ones, or you will never experience what I have experienced when it comes to IQ. Take out your notebook now, you will need it to write it down, so you you wouldn't be asking such a stupid question again. You too, miss handicap. IQ stands for Image Quality. And my image quality is 1300. Next question!"

The Daily Bonk - your weird news site

The Daily Bonk

The Daily Bonk is a satire news site, or a fake news source, or just a provider of alternative news, considering the latter is becoming more and more popular term these days thanks to that special someone.

want to write?

Feel free to share your nonsense.

Get in touch
We have too much free space

There should be something here, right?

connect with me

Want to get in touch for one reason or another? Check the contact page, follow us in twitter or like us on facebook.