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Fire in Trump's pants ends with unexpected consequences

2018-01-09 05:13:24

After President's pants went up in flames this morning, as reported by, we have managed to confirm that the flames have finally been extinguished. The smoke that came out of his rear end is unfortunately still disturbing the traffic within four blocks of New York's Trump Tower. New York's fire department has put out a statement to ask nearby people to stay at home and keep their doors, windows, and TV's off.

The fire started earlier this morning when the President spent several minutes Tweeting about his record of educational achievement. Bystanders called the fire department after smoke began rising from a high window of Trump Tower.

While this isn't the first such incident involving president Trump, it is somewhat different compared to the previous occasions. After his inauguration speech the secret servicemen managed to put out the fire faster by sucking out all the air in the room where Trump was tweeting. This time, however, Trump didn't accept the fire as real news and refused all offers of assistance from those within Trump Tower. He also asked the firefighters not to use their hoses as not to wash the orange off. However, as a result of the prolonged burning, the plastic man has finally melted.

White House sources say in horror that there will be no more tweets today from the President, but the normal day-to-day life should continue again tomorrow, once his plastic body has been returned to its former glory, and has been properly repainted.

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